yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
