dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
