how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
