I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
wow bdsm is so cute
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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