i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
This is the high leading the old right now
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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