Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Randomize
