Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
