Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
