Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
