I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
