this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize