One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
