I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
