"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
