"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
