I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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