i was born a porn star she said
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
