Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
