Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
