I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
