My sheets look like a crime scene.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's never too late to be topless.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
