I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize