If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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