youre lurking in front of me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
