I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
