it hurts more in the daytime
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
