i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
