okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
