Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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