I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
