Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
