I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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