dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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