Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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