I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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