if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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