Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
