i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
