ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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