Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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