I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
