Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize