now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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