when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
