I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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