I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
