I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
