what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
