the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Semen is not good for contacts.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
