i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
