I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
