Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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