So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
