Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
