haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
