...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
