help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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