How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
