dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
do nipples grow back?
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