I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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