He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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