Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
