For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
