I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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