yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
