me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
