it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
