one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
