addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize